


Lies We Tell Ourselves

by ChameleonCircuit



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, god idk how to tag this, implied past sexual encounter, starisi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 15:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16161488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit
Summary: “So,” Sonny began casually, turning to look at Peter. “Why are you really here?”“I told you.” Peter’s stomach flipped, heart skipping a beat as a sense of unease filled him up. “I thought you might’ve needed a friend.”“A friend?” Sonny smirked, angling his body towards Peter a little more. “Friends don’t get each other off.”





	Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keraunoscopia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keraunoscopia/gifts).



> Unbeta'd, another tumblr prompt that got a little out of hand.
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178652320017/friends-dont-get-each-other-off-starisi

Peter felt a fresh rush of nerves, his stomach swooping in a near-nauseating fashion as he raised his fist to knock on Sonny’s apartment door. He didn’t know what to expect from this visit at all, he wasn’t even sure it was a good idea, but as his doubt reached a crescendo and he decided it would be best to leave, the door opened, and he froze in place.

Sonny looked beautiful. He always looked beautiful, but Peter had never before been afforded the luxury of seeing him like this. His hair was damp at the front and wet at the back, curling at the ends where it fell across his forehead, and his eyes were bright, cheeks tinged pink, likely from the beer he was holding in his hand. Peter felt a pang in his chest when Sonny smiled at him, bright and dimply and welcoming, and he wondered, not for the first time, if it was possible to fall in love with someone you barely knew.

“What are you doing here?”

“Ah,” Peter licked his lips, trying to alleviate the sudden dryness in his mouth. “I wanted to check you were okay, but…”

He trailed off as a drop of water slipped down Sonny’s neck, following the line of his collarbone before dipping below his thin cotton shirt. Peter took a breath, licking his lips again as he tore his gaze from Sonny’s chest to his face. Sonny was grinning at him, and Peter felt the tips of his ears burn red at the knowing look Sonny gave him.

“I’m fine,” Sonny said quietly, softening his grin to match his tone. “You know how it is.”

 _I don’t_ , his brain supplied, but he nodded anyway. “I guess I’ll go then?”

It was meant to be a decisive sentence, offered with a smile as he backed away, left Sonny alone, but it had come out uncertain, and as a result, Sonny was shaking his head, long arm beckoning him inside. After a moment's hesitation, he followed, trying to ignore the tug of desire he felt as Sonny’s fingertips ghosted down his arm before he raised his beer bottle to his lips.

He downed the remainder of its contents, and Peter watched the bob of his Adam’s apple, heart skipping a beat as he imagined licking that spot on his neck, feeling it move beneath his tongue.

“You want one?” Sonny asked, lifting the empty bottle, and Peter nodded dumbly, following him to the kitchen.

It felt awkward as they sat down on the lounge with their cold beers, legs touching despite the amount of room on Sonny’s lounge, both pretending to focus on the game on the TV in front of them. Or, at least, Peter was pretending. Sonny appeared, at a quick, stolen glance, to be completely relaxed, resting back into the cushions, legs spread, eyes focused on the screen. Legs spread...Peter snapped his eyes back to the screen, heart beating a little faster.

“So,” Sonny began casually, turning to look at Peter. “Why are you really here?”

“I told you.” Peter’s stomach flipped, heart skipping a beat as a sense of unease filled him up. “I thought you might’ve needed a friend.”

“A friend?” Sonny smirked, angling his body towards Peter a little more. “Friends don’t get each other off.”

Peter felt his face heat up, a strange kind of nausea building in his stomach as his eyes snapped away from Sonny, down to the bottle in his hands. This was why he shouldn’t have come. He’d known it was a bad idea. He’d known last time he’d been in Sonny’s apartment had been a mistake, fuelled by pain and lust and fear, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to think of it as such, couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

“That was one time,” he muttered, voice a little hoarse, before taking a large mouthful of beer, suddenly longing for the burn of something stronger.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

Peter hadn’t realized just how much tension he was holding in his body until Sonny’s hand came to rest on his knee and he jumped, tension snapping like an elastic band.

“Hey.” Peter could hear the frown in Sonny’s voice, but he didn’t dare look, couldn’t stand the thought of the sudden concern he’d see there. “I thought...I’m sorry. It can stay one time. I would never—“

“I’m not gay,” Peter blurted out.

Sonny laughed, and Peter cringed at the sound, the urge to flee rising within him while fear simultaneously kept him still.

“Neither am I.”

Peter’s head snapped around then, and he was surprised to find Sonny smiling softly at him, like he knew exactly what was going on inside Peter’s head, but he wasn’t mocking him for it, wasn’t dangling his knowledge in front of him like some kind of leverage.

“I’m bi,” Sonny continued with a light shrug. “But it’s okay if I was just...I dunno...an experiment, or—“

Peter surged forward without thinking, pressing a messy kiss to the corner of Sonny’s mouth. Sonny froze completely, eyes wide, and Peter’s heart stopped for a moment before thundering back to life, erratic and unstable, causing his hands to shake as he pulled away.

But Sonny pulled him back in, held his face close, eyes searching before he pressed a feather-light kiss to Peter’s lips, warm and soft and inviting, and Peter practically melted at the touch, body turning to jelly as Sonny’s hands slipped down to his shoulders, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs.

He hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes until Sonny asked, “Was that okay?” and he opened them again, nodding slowly.

He watched as Sonny licked his lips, mimicking the movement before Sonny leaned in, lowering him back against the lounge, lips so close he could almost feel them. He lifted his head just enough to close the distance, hungrily searching for more, and Sonny obliged, pressing him into the pillows as he deepened the kiss, fingers threading through his hair.

Sonny’s touch was electric, and he felt alive, body tingling, hips arching, aching for more of what he absolutely knew he shouldn’t have, shouldn’t even want. But as Sonny moaned into his mouth, he found he didn’t really care. All he wanted was more of this, as much as he could get, propriety be damned.

“Not gay, eh?” Sonny asked with a breathless laugh as he pulled back. He was teasing, eyes gleaming, but there was a fondness there that had Peter’s heart clenching.

“Shut up,” he said with a roll of his eyes, swatting Sonny’s arm.

Sonny laughed again, and Peter felt his skin prickle at the sound as he reached out, running his fingers along Sonny’s back.

“Sometimes I forget he’s gone, y’know?” Peter murmured, and Sonny frowned, head tilted, before Peter added, “My father. He wouldn’t...approve.”

Sonny brushed his knuckles across Peter’s cheek, eyes unbearably soft all of a sudden, before leaning in for another quick kiss.

“Neither would mine,” Sonny said quietly. “But that’s a given.”

Peter hummed noncommittally before drawing Sonny in again, hooking his legs around Sonny’s waist. “Is this okay?”

“More than okay,” Sonny whispered before kissing him hungrily.


End file.
